We’re in the depths of the darkest part of the year. Today is the winter solstice (in the northern hemisphere at least)—the literal shortest day and longest night. Here in Vermont, we’re also about to go into a cold spell that will last through the weekend, with temps sinking below zero (Fahrenheit, not Celsius) at night and only rising into the single digits above zero during the day.
The end of the year invites us to reflect on the past twelve months. To look at the highs and lows, and either romanticize them or make them out to be worse than they actually were. I was tempted to do the same here, to recap the year. But I don’t want to spend the last few days of the year looking back at the things I could have done differently, or what I wish I’d done more or less of, or any of that.
I want to look forward.
Because 2024 was a rough year (read back through my ‘Stacks if you want some idea of why), but it’s ending on a relative high note with things to look forward to in the new year. That’s where I want to focus my efforts.
Each year I pick a word (or possibly a short phrase) that sort of sums up what I want from that year. It’s different than a resolution—it’s more of an energy I want to embody. A couple of years ago it was hellfire (that might not have been the best word to choose…as I definitely did not have a great year). It’s been bloom and blossom, too.
I’m still deciding on my word for 2025, but I’m leaning toward passion or devotion. Maybe I’ll pick both this year. It’s my tradition, so I make the rules.
I’ve been floating through life for a couple of years now. Really, since I lost my job in late 2022. Financial stress does a number on my brain, and being unemployed for eight months followed by eight months in a job I hated with every fiber of my being, followed by three months of instability before I landed my current contract took its toll.
But now I’m out of the woods financially and getting back onto very solid footing. I have a schedule that allows me a decent amount of free time. And I need to start taking advantage of that free time to do some things I’m passionate about again. And I want to actually devote myself to things again.
I want hobbies I’m passionate about again. Making jewelry (after a 15+ year hiatus) has been the closest I’ve come. It’s both creative and meditative. Although it’s also an expensive hobby so I may do some craft shows next year to help pay for all my supplies. But it will not turn into a “real” business.
I want to devote myself to getting healthy again. My physical long Covid symptoms appear to have finally healed (after a third bout with Covid over Thanksgiving), which means things like exercise feel possible again. It’s rough to get back in shape in the winter (since all my favorite exercise involves being outside) but I’m going to give it my best. And maybe even eat some more vegetables while I’m at it.
I want to be passionate about creative writing again. I write all day for work and I’ve used that as an excuse in the past to not write outside of work. But if I was capable of writing 5-10,000 words per day in the past, then I can write half that for work and half that for myself. I just have to make the time for it—I have to devote myself to it again. And I have some old projects I’d love to resurrect.
I want to devote myself to creating a home environment that actually soothes me. That environment will be changing in a few months, and it will give me a chance for a fresh start. I’m working on building some new habits right now so that keeping my new place tidy and organized will be easier and more seamless.
I want to channel my passion into more dance classes, ceremonies, rituals, and energy work. I discovered two dance modalities this year that I really enjoy—belly dance (which I’m actually reasonably good at) and burlesque (which I’m not so good at). I’ve been diving into astrology more. And exploring some deeper somatic and energy work, stuff outside of the mainstream everyone seems to be doing these days. I’d like to do more writing about those things in 2025, too.
I want to devote myself to kindness and compassion and love. The world is becoming an ever-scarier place by the day and it’s easy to get sucked into the negativity and fear. It’s easy to think that the entire world is cruel (and to some extent, it is). But I don’t want that to be my narrative. I don’t want to become everything that is wrong with this world. So I’m going to keep being kind and compassionate. I’m going to keep putting love out into the world. Because that’s how things change.
I read an interesting quote from Robert Reich on Threads last night that really drives home, to me, where the world (and the US in particular, but there are plenty of places around the world where it also applies) stands right now (edited for length):
The biggest divide in America today is not between “right” and “left”…it’s between democracy and oligarchy. The old labels — “right” and “left” — prevent most people from noticing they’re being shafted. Know the truth.
The oligarchs want to keep us fighting with each other. And don’t get me wrong: there are some stark moral and values-based differences between the right and left in the US and elsewhere. But the real villains are the billionaires at the top. The ones who aren’t even pretending anymore that they don’t control what happens in our government. As long as they can keep us divided and keep up the infighting, they can retain control.
When we can recognize each other’s shared humanity and approach the world with kindness and compassion, we maintain some shred of hope that things will eventually change for the better.
That’s what I’ll be working toward in 2025.